It started with kidney stones, discovered late November. I took medications for it and I was responding well. I lost most of the stone in my right kidney and a little left in my left kidney. December was a trying time for me. I have always been a negative guy but I tried my very best to be positive. It paid off. I was getting well.

27^th of January, I got hospitalized because I was vomiting the whole day that day. I spent 5days in the hospital. My midsection was hurting. The pain was creeping and at times unbearable. My mother was with me, I love her so much, but my source of strength was my girlfriend, JT. She was with me from my first night until the last day at the hospital. They conducted test on me, took so much blood undergone ultrasound and endoscopy. The verdict, I have fatty liver, kidney stones, hypercholesterolemia, and gastritis.

I was discharged and given a very expensive medication. Good thing that our company shouldered 90% of my expenses. I was on my way to complete healing or so I thought. 2weeks passed and the pain increased. It’s very frustrating and downright tiring. I was hopeful on lots of things.

I hate myself; I was beginning to doubt GOD, though at the end of every tear I end up calling for help to GOD. I desperately need his loving care and guidance. I’m going back to the same old stupid Raymund that I am. I’m becoming negative again. I hate it, but I don’t know how to stop it. All my relatives are very concern about my situation. This has been the 3^rd time in the past 4 years that I had a major medical issue here in Cebu. Back in 2005 when I was reviewing for the board exams I injured my back and forced me to be bed ridden. I could not walk for 2weeks, I had doubts that I could ever walk again but I fought through it. There is also the 2007 asthma and bronchitis which forced me to resign from my job. And now this one, a whole set of illness and disease. Some of my relatives told me that maybe Cebu was not the place for me. I don’t know. The one thing that I want right now is to completely heal. After that, I will go back to Manila to be with JT.

To anyone reading this blog, please I humbly asked for your prayers, a prayer for me to have a better relationship with God, for me to have a will and strength to face the adversities, to be a mentally strong individual and for my complete recovery and permanent healing.

I have to fight for my love ones specially JT. She’s the only reason why life is worth living and worth fighting for. I’m very optimistic that this is nothing, that there was just a mistake. I will still enjoy the life that I have. I know God will never leave me; he will be on my side through and through. I will reach my dream, dream to be with JT and to have a family. As long as there is hope, I will not give up. Even if there’s none, I will not give up. I believe in miracles and I believe in the power of the Lord.

I received the worst news of my life. My urine has traces of blood in it. Reason, there is something wrong with my kidney. There are two possible reason for this, one, I may have kidney stones and two, there is some genetic problems that I have. I undergone an ultrasound the same day that I received the dreaded news. The results were negative, no abnormalities and stones were found. Currently I’m taking antibiotics to suppress the supposed infection in my kidney. After 7 days, I will again undergo the urinalysis to check if there are still blood traces in my blood.

I never really thought that this predicament will impact me this way. I’m 26 yrs old, barely at my prime, full of dreams and ambitions, just starting to build the foundations of my future. I really don’t know what to do right now, maybe it is a reminder that God does exist. I and my lovely girlfriend want to settle down 2 years from now. We are currently building and plan the life that we are going to share. I don’t want to lose the dream that we forged together.

If you are reading this blog of mine, please help me pray for my kidney, my life, my family, my love ones, my JT and my future. The only thing that can save me right now id your prayers. Thank you and help me God.

Last week, because of a reorganization of the company, we had to move to our new cubicles in an unoccupied floor in our new building. The 20^th floor is where our labs and the office of the general manager located. It’s a spacious floor supposedly prepared for the expansion of the company. But the economic recession forced us to freeze all hiring until the economy stabilizes.

Our cubicles had brand new tables, a new manager’s chair for us (the regular staff), clean wide personal drawers and overhead cabinets aside from the usual personal telephones (speaker phones), business and CAD PC’s, individual all-in-one printers. The floor also boasts a decent pantry (comparable to a small canteen). Microwaves, refrigerators, coffee dispenser, blender (well we brought this one) are some of the things we have. By the way, the faucet in our pantry is a hot and cold one (not the hot and cold water dispenser), you can wash your hand with the temperature you like. The comfort rooms are nice, everything runs on sensor, no need to turn the faucet on or flush the toilet manually.

But for me, the biggest benefit of our transfer is the view, it’s freakin awesome. By far, the best workstation view that I had my whole life. My workstation faces east, towards the Cebu City Harbor, the Mactan Island, the Island of Cordova, the small islets around Cebu and Mactan, and even the noble mountains of Bohol Island. Now I know what the meaning of the phrase “the bird’s eyes view.  I can see all approaching boats and vessels from other islands. From a regular passenger vessel from Manila and Mindanao to the massive cargo ships from other countries. Large ships creep their way into the ports of Cebu while Ocean Jets cuts through waves with ease and familiar white wake behind them. Large ships have to go round Mactan Island because they can’t pass under the two bridges that connect Mactan and Cebu. They can’t even pass near the islets because waters there don’t have the depth to cater these behemoths. High tides and low tides are very facinating too; lands and islands appear and disappear throughout the day. An island in low tide turns two on a high tide (funny how nature works). Planes come and go almost on an hourly basis, from a tiny Cesna to the majestic Boeing 747. One crazy thing about my location is witnessing fires around Cebu. I see homes burning but you’re helpless and there’s really nothing you can do about it.

My view is really cool and I like. This may very well be the last time for me to have a workstation view like this and I’m going to enjoy every minute of it. I know things will soon change when I go back to Manila and back for good. Back to have the most beautiful view of my life, my girlfriend, my future wife.

      He’s just a sore loser. You can’t become a champion if you don’t know how to accept defeat.  He has a huge ego and is very classless. Yah, he’s a great player and the MVP for this season but it doesn’t mean he can just walk out without congratulating Dwight Howard and the rest of the Orlando Magic. It only shows that he is not worth the trophy that was given to him. As the league MVP, he should represent the NBA in all aspect. By walking on the Orlando Magic, he disgraced himself and league. He was able to stay in the game when they won the two previous series against Detroit and Atlanta but why not when his team lost? It said a lot on what kind of a person Lebron James is. He’s not a competitor; he’s an egoistic player who doesn’t know how to recognize his limitations and the capability of their opponent. He was very confident after sweeping the two previous series that he thought it will be a walk in park going to the finals. He and his team had gone so complacent that they think they can step on any team on their way to the finals. All of this caused them their chance to meet the Lakers in the finals.

      Every action that he did will eventually ruin his credibility as a sportsman. He will not become a winner unless he can take losing like a gentleman. He should be embarrassed more for his unsportsmanlike conduct than the way their season ended.

CLEARLY, HIS JUST A BIG SORE LOSER!!!!!

According to www.merriam-webster.com beauty is "the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit". A pretty good definition for a word but if you look at it carefully, it is very broad and does not really point you to the exact meaning. I myself have questions about beauty and the basis on how to measure beauty. So I did what most people with too much time to waste, I researched the holy grail of the information, the internet. But it did not give me enough answers to the questions that were bothering me.

And as a person of great knowledge to the subject, I developed my criteria of beauty but looking at the most beautiful lady, for ME, in the world, my beloved girlfriend, JT. First things first, let me start this study of mine by describing how I met my beautiful JT. It all started on a fateful day (just exaggerating) in the office. It was my second day in Manila when I saw her awe inspiring beauty. In an instant I was stuck and I could not forget and get her image off my mind. She was stunningly and out of this world beautiful. And since then I became a slave for her beauty.

Let me now enumerate those qualities she possesses that make her "the most beautiful in the world".

1. Personality – she has this personality that people tends to gravitate towards her. She has this very likeable aura that you just can't resist. Sometimes I think she speaks in a language that connects directly to the hearts of people around her. She can command an audience and you just can't resist listening to whatever she's going to say. When she speaks the world stops and listens to her.
   
   
2. There are 3 types of Beauty.

·        Cuteness – she's one of the perfect example of this. She owns the face of an angel, melts your heart each time you look at her. She has this sweet innocence in her that you just can't deny. At any situation and in any place, she just looks good. "Baby face", that's the way that I can describe it. Her charm is very undeniable. I just can't resist her she captured me. She has very cute hands. I would never forget the day I first held it. We were sitting in a bus and I just can't control the urge to hold her hands. I asked her if I can hold her hands because it was small. But the truth is I just wanted to hold her cute little hands. I got her that time. She also has cute baby fats in her. Lucky for me I get to touch them. The fats in her tummy are just like marsh mallows from heaven. So smooth and so fragile. And her nose, oh her nose, so cute you just want to pinch it. She also has these cute little ears. Those sparkling eyes of her are just so amazing. Feels like she sees right through me. The hair, long, shiny and radiantly black. It also smells so good. Her cheeks reminds of the paintings during the renaissance. You should see her cheeks when she's blushing.  And the smile that completes my day.

·        Prettiness –prettiness is associated with romantic love and natural feministic qualities. Romantic love? I love her, so she fits. Natural feministic qualities, actually she a little rough than a lady with great poise but ironically that's what makes her so feminine. She maybe wild and rough on the outside but she definitely is a strong and powerful lady on the inside. Ever heard of a song from Billy Joel, "She's Always a Woman"? Basically it describes JT very well; she will always be a woman to me. She bears herself well and she commands respect. She may not wear elegant dresses or fashionable clothes but she still carries with her the composure of a beauty queen.

·        Hotness – is the beauty that stimulates sexual desire. According to one article is the type of beauty where the celebrities can be associated with. In short, JT can become a celebrity anytime she wants. She is the epitome of hotness is its raw form. She has the body to die for. Those sexy hips, I really can't describe them. Very soft and smooth skin, more priceless than the porcelain of ancient China. If you're a girl you'd envy her and if you're a man it will stimulate all your sensual fantasies. I don't want to express my fantasies, she might kill me if I do but I'm guilty nonetheless. She has these luscious lips. Makes me want to kiss them every time I had the chance. Oh, the taste is even better I tell you. I've tasted other lips but nothing really compares to sensation of being kissed by my JT. Boobs can become the make or break part of a woman. Mostly guys like girls with big hooters. Hey, I'm not making this up, it is based on research. For JT, ummmm, just judge for yourself. I love my JT. She even had the voice to back it up. Her voice is just the sexiest that I have ever heard. I don't want to emphasize further, this might lead to censored things. I don't want to extend the explanation for this type of beauty. I could go on and on describing how hot and sexy my girlfriend is. I still haven't mention the time when we were on an outing. We were in a pool, my jaw literally drop when I saw her wet in those short shorts and tight blouse of hers. But enough with that, I might not post this at all, I might open up some secrets not to mention my wildest dreams about her.

3. Overlapping- sometimes type of beauty overlapped each other that you create a new kind of beauty. These are the combinations:

·        Exotic Beauty – Hotness + Prettiness

·        Exquisite Beauty – Prettiness + Cuteness

·        Enchanting Beauty – Cuteness + Hotness

·        Goddess Beauty – this category is indeed very rare. You're lucky to have gotten two types of beauty and an amazing feat to possess all of them. But believe me, I have seen a person who possesses them and she's my one and only JT. A sweet and innocent face, the poise and bearing, and the sexiness that the world had never seen. She is just drop dead gorgeous.

These are just few aspects in her that define her beauty. Aspects which ultimately turned my world upside down the very day I saw her. The day I told myself that I saw heaven here on earth. The day I fell in love with a Goddess.

So tell me am I lucky or what? Envy me because the most beautiful being here on earth happens to be my girlfriend and she loves me.

WHO:                   Jennifer Magpantay Tuazon

WHAT:        my Goddess, my Life, my Inspiration, my Reason, my Love,

WHEN:        it all started last November 7, 2007 that was the first time that I saw her. I really don't know what hit me, she's stunningly beautiful. I mean I was attracted to her right then and there. Then we became friends, February 29, 2008, a leap year, a special day that only happens every four years, coincidence? Maybe, but for me, it was destiny. March 16, 2008 is our first date and the next one was during the Holy Week, ummmmm…..Divine Guidance! I told her that she was my crush the day I saw her after we had our date on the Holy Week.  I opened up to here and courted her in May. She even had to intoxicate me so bad for me to tell her that I love her. Good thing she did. Hehehehehe. We became us on the 5^th of October of 2008. We were also together during the holidays and I spent greeting the New Year with her. She's just an awesome gift from GOD.

WHERE:      basically, it all started at the office when I first saw her. She was in her table place doing her work.  We had our first date at Trinoma, we met at Gateway Mall and watched 10000B.C. at Trinoma and back to Gateway for a dinner. We also had a religious date during the Holy Week. We went to a church in Bulacan, in Antipolo, in Katipunan and a church in UST, her school. We had our first night out with friends at Cuba and it became a regular place for us to meet and talk. Lots of memories there, that was the place were I told her that I love her. I was so drunk that time and the dizziness was gone when I told her that I love her. I was that scared. That was also the place of out first kiss. The kiss was awesome, we really didn't care about the people around us, the feeling of each others lips was enough to forget everything. We also had moments in Batangas, during the company outing. Details are secret. We enjoyed the company of our friends in Antipolo during the outing. She was so hot that time. Wet look and all. Gggrrrrrr…. We also had a wonderful time looking for a place for the outing, it was fun! And how can I forget our time at Clark. The pump house flood, she's so cute standing there not knowing what to do. I got her sweet "OO" at Cubao. The place is scared and top secret, it can't be disclosed. We also enjoy our escapades in here in Cebu. From Lapu lapu Shrine to Magellan's Cross. I look forward to our next escapades.

WHY:          I ask myself many times, "why do I love her this much?" Was it the hot body she possessed behind those beautiful and innocent face or was it her angelic voice that captured me? I tried to find the answers but to no avail. I love her because….. I love her. Plain and simple. Love is the reason why I'm still her and why I will not let her go. So the main answer is "LOVE"

Valentine’s gift from my JT…..

In a very unpredictable turn of events, I was the receiving end of the valentine flowers. Ma, you never seize to amaze me. I know that you were going to send me flowers but I never expected these kinds. My jaw literally dropped upon seeing these flowers. I really love flowers; I have lots of them back home. You can say that I have a green thumb. But I never really expect to receive flowers for valentines. People who saw the flowers told me that you are very sweet. I thought I was sweet, as it turns out; you were sweeter than I am. The flowers are really beautiful coming from the most beautiful girl in the world. It smells great too. If you only know how proud I am to have received flowers from you. The guys hear teased me a lot. Even the managers were on my cubicle talking about the flowers and how lucky I am to have you as my GF. I never experienced this my whole life. And honestly, I am very proud of you. Euphoric at times that you are mine. The euphoria continues each day you show your love for me and the flowers only supports the fact that you do love me. I will never forget this gift because its from my one and only true love. Thanks MA…

First dates can be very unforgettable. Good or bad it will always have an impact between the couple sharing the memory. As far as I remember, I never had a more memorable first date than my date with JT. This is the story of how our first date happened. Everything that I'm going to tell you is only my point of view; she knows nothing about this one.

It begun when I asked her how to go to Trinoma (a mall near SM North), honestly, I have no other intention but just to go to Trinoma and watch a movie. We where texting each other for some time when I asked her. She didn't know that she was my crush or knew anything that she was special to me. Going back, I asked her how to go to Trinoma since I was not familiar of the place. I was new to Manila that time. Then she told me that she had not been to Trinoma also, now I don't know if it's true but that's what she said. Then she asked if she can come with me. If you've been in love, you know how and what I felt that time. I was too excited that time, and to think that our date (I called it friendly date because I don't want my intentions to be known) was on Sunday and it was just Wednesday the night she agreed to go out with me. It was March 12,2008, my crush, my love at first sight agreed to go out with me (not to open up to everybody that she was the one who asked me first to go with me to watch 10000B.C).There I was, sleepless of excitement and anticipation. I had to prepare the things I should wear, the look I'm going to project and perfume I'm going to use. I got lots of things going through my mind; I was literally sleepless thinking about our date. The days are very long prior to our date. I became impatient and I really wanted to pull the days so that Sunday will come. Excitement almost turned me mad. I could barely contain myself. My board mates got curious, I was smiling even when I'm alone and I would go to sleep early but would only sleep during the wee hours of night. I was not like that before but things changed since I met her.

Sunday came, I was excited, too excited that I forgot that my clothes that was still in the laundry shop. We were set to meet at Trinoma to have lunch, but the laundry shop opens at 11am. I also forgot to withdraw; I have no money, literally. I have to go to our office building to withdraw. Its 10am and the sun was at its blistering heat. From our building at went straight to the laundry shop, I was still close. Luckily, the owner knows me and when she saw me waiting outside her shop she happily opened it just to take my clothes out and closed the shop again. I went back to the boarding house and had to take a quick bath because I was all wet from a perspiring trip. That was the second time that I took a bath, the first time was 7am in the morning. I woke up 5am in the morning, I was that excited. After the quick bath, I almost had another bath with all the perfume I had on me. I don't want to smell bad when I'm with JT. When I got out of the room, I was block by one of my board mate. She asked me where I was going, I was not good in lying and I told her that I was going to meet my aunt who is a nun. She didn't believe me of course, who would, and I almost emptied my perfume by spraying it from head to toe. I was running late so I had to leave my board mate, living her more confuse and intrigued.

She texted me telling that we will meet at Gateway, she had a driving class that time. When I arrived at Cubao Station, going to Gateway, I saw her at Farmers. I spoiled her surprise, she was planning to meet me there. From there we went to Gateway Mall, we were planning to have our lunch there but I was not hungry because of all the excitement and I was not believing every bit of the moment. We were together, just the two of us going out. I really don't know how to describe the feeling but I would call it heaven. We ate at Wendy's, chicken burger, but I could not eat. I could not swallow anything; she was all that I can think of. After the so called lunch, we got to a train going to Trinoma. She was like a teen, so beautiful, so gorgeous so lovable and those smile, out of this world. But enough with that, I will have another blog dedicated only to her beauty, we watch the movie, it was a good movie but it became great because I was with her. In the middle of the movie, I noticed that she was somehow looking at me, somehow studying me. I never thought of the, somehow she was interested at me. hehehehehe.(ang gwapo ko!!!). I was conscious like I was being scrutinized by all the people; I'm with her, heaven. After the movie, we went to the garden, still in Trinoma. We had a wonderful talk. We opened up to each other like we had known each other for a long time. God, she's just so beautiful each time she smiles. Then it was almost dark, I hate time runs to fast. I don't want it to end, everything's seems in its proper place, me with her, a dream come true. I want everything to stop; I want it to last forever. Then we had to go home, again we were in the train going to Cubao. Before going home, she asked me to have dinner with her before going home. I agreed, why would I not, she was asking me, my crush. We had our dinner at Gateway. The food taste good and it became the best because she was with me. I became more comfortable being with her. I was more at ease and composed. She was as beautiful as ever, I can't forget that time. We talked about our lives, our relationships, our career and our family. Slowly it became clear to me that we have many things in common. I didn't tell her cause she might think I was making things up. But nonetheless I was a great dinner and a better conversation. I really wanted to hold her hands but never had the chance to.

The night must end and we must separate ways. I walk her until the LRT station and my dream ended. We said our good byes and good nights and we part ways. I was not sad, the fact I was smiling the whole time I was walking towards the bus stop and until I got home, even until I went to sleep. I told myself, this is just a once in a lifetime experience and I would rather enjoy the memories. We were still texting while I was still in the bus on my way home. I took the bus because I was more comfortable in the open air and I had a serene mindset during the travel. When I got home my board mates where asking who I was with but I never told them that I was with JT. They knew that I came from a date but they don't have an idea who I was with. They were teasing me, forcing me to tell them who the mystery girl was that changed the depressed Raymund they knew to a "smiling for no reason" person, they wanted to know the person who brought life into my heart again. But they could not squeeze it out from me. After changing, I went to the roof deck and think of the day that passed and smile and told myself "I really love her".